What Truly Matters in a Relationship? It's Not Just Words or Actions—It's Respect

  • Mar 29, 2025

In today’s world, relationships are often measured by grand gestures—sweet words, expensive gifts, social media posts, and even marriage. But do these things truly define love and commitment?

A woman calling you "baby" or "sweetheart" means nothing.
A woman buying you gifts means nothing.
A woman becoming the mother of your child means nothing.
A woman moving in with you means nothing.
A woman posting you all over social media means nothing.
Even a woman saying she loves you means nothing.
And let me surprise you—
Even a woman marrying you also means nothing.

So, What Truly Matters?

Love is not just in words or temporary actions; it is in the foundation of respect, value, and unwavering support. A true partner is one who:

  • Respects you, even in difficult times.
  • Values your presence in her life.
  • Stands by you through struggles and successes.
  • Supports you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
  • Wants to grow with you, not just enjoy the easy moments.
  • Protects your dignity, even when you are not around.

The Prophet Muhammad's (SAW) Wisdom on a Righteous Woman

Islam provides beautiful guidance on what truly defines a good wife. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) was asked, “Which woman is the best?” He responded:
أَخْبَرَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَجْلاَنَ، عَنْ سَعِيدٍ الْمَقْبُرِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قِيلَ لِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَىُّ النِّسَاءِ خَيْرٌ قَالَ ‏ "‏ الَّتِي تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ وَتُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَ وَلاَ تُخَالِفُهُ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهَا بِمَا يَكْرَهُ".

“The one who makes her husband happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and does not go against his wishes regarding herself or his wealth.” (Sunan an-Nasa’i 3231)

This Hadith beautifully highlights that a good wife is not just about physical presence or external affection; it is about bringing peace and joy to her husband’s life through respect, loyalty, and sincerity.

Another powerful Hadith states:
‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَلاَ تَفْعَلُوا لَوْ كُنْتُ آمِرًا أَحَدًا أَنْ يَسْجُدَ لأَحَدٍ لأَمَرْتُ النِّسَاءَ أَنْ يَسْجُدْنَ لأَزْوَاجِهِنَّ لِمَا جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لَهُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنَ الْحَقِّ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

“If I were to command anyone to prostrate before another, I would command women to prostrate before their husbands because of the rights Allah has given men over them.” (Sunan Abi Dawood 2140)

This does not mean men should dominate or mistreat their wives. Rather, it signifies the deep level of respect and importance that Islam places on the husband-wife relationship. Just as a man is responsible for protecting, providing, and caring for his wife, a woman is responsible for maintaining harmony and respect in the home.

Without Respect, Everything Else Is Meaningless

It means nothing if a woman calls you "baby" but disrespects you the moment you disagree with her.
It means nothing if she posts about you online but speaks harshly to you in private.
It means nothing if she stands beside you physically but undermines your authority as a husband.

A man’s greatest desire in a marriage is RESPECT. This is a right that Allah has given him, and it is the foundation of a successful, fulfilling relationship.

For Women: Control Your Tongue and Behavior

A woman may have everything—beauty, wealth, intelligence—but if she lacks respect, she will never be a truly honorable wife. Disrespectful words, nagging, and hurtful behavior can destroy even the strongest relationship.

If you wish to be loved, respect your husband. A man who feels respected will naturally love, cherish, and protect his wife.

Final Thoughts

In the end, love is not about fleeting emotions, expensive gifts, or social media posts. It is about respect, loyalty, and a commitment to building a life together.

May Allah bless all marriages with understanding, patience, and true love that is built on respect.

Allah is the Greatest, and He knows best.